my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize