So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
