He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
