fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
