week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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