Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
