that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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