and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
