fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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