Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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