that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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