dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
