it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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