I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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