reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
