you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
