yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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