Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
