Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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