i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
