fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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