So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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