I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
