so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
