You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
my poor anus
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
