By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
