The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
