Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
