I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
