So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
