let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
