So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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