he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
