lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
