i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
