He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
