Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
