he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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