for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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