Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
