just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
