New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
