i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
