Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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