Your tits are I can't wait for
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
