Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she smelled like a LAN party
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
