new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
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