Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
