I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
