she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
