Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
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