He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
