Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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